An Inevitable Eventuality
by MoiraM
Summary: All good things must come to an end. Even the great Commander Shepard is only human. Almost 200 years after the Reaper War, Liara and Shepard must deal with the inevitable. F!Shep/Liara. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

_Hurry! Hurry, she'll be here any minute_, Shepard thought to herself as she grabbed another handful of socks and underthings and stuffed them into the duffel on the bed. _I have to be gone by then._ Angrily wiping a tear from her eye, she surveyed her progress.

Two duffels sat on the bed. One was filled with as many guns from her armory as it could hold, all cleaned, inspected and carefully packed. The other was half packed with various toiletries, a couple boxes of energy bars, a bottle of whiskey and some socks and underwear. Shepard slammed the drawer shut, opened the next drawer and grabbed several shirts without really looking at what she was snatching and shoved those in the bag as well.

_Any minute. Any minute. Goddammit, I need to be gone!_

As she slammed the shirt drawer closed and reached for the next, Shepard heard the hiss of the front door opening, the rustle of someone entering the apartment, and froze.

_Shit!_

Carefully and quietly, so as not to give away her position, Shepard opened the next drawer. She would be found eventually, but better if she were ready to flee upon discovery. Hearing the sounds of the other person shuffling about the apartment, she picked up a pair of jeans and turned to pack them away. Footsteps in the hallway…

"Shepard? Where are you?"

She hastily shoved the jeans into the duffel and turned to grab another pair. As Shepard was stuffing the second pair in the bag a figure appeared in the doorway and she froze again. She looked up into a pair of questioning blue eyes.

"Shepard, what are you doing?" the asari asked. She stood in the doorway stiffly, taking in the scene: the two duffels, one bulging obviously with guns, Shepard shoving clothes into another, the human woman herself looking haggard, her eyes puffy and red. After a moment of simply staring at each other in shock Shepard dropped her eyes and bent back to the task of packing.

"I'm leaving," she replied flatly, slamming the drawer shut and opening another forcefully. "I meant to be gone before you got back…"

"You…what? Leavng? But why?! Why would you…" the asari began before the realization hit. "Did you hear from Miran-"

"Yes!" exclaimed Shepard, cutting her off. "Yes! And I won't go down like that, Liara! I can't!" The irritation, frustration and tension were clearly written on her face and in her posture, arms crossed defensively over chest.

"Shepard, love…" Liara started forward with concern in her eyes, reaching out for her bondmate. Shepard, knowing her resolve would crumble if she let the asari touch her, took a step back with hiss and threw up her hands as if Liara were about to burn her. A mask of cold calm slipped over Liara's face and she stepped back to lean against the doorframe, her own arms crossing under her breasts. The human woman began opening drawers and stuffing random articles of clothing into the bag without really looking at what she was doing, just trying to distract herself from her own emotions.

The asari studied her bondmate and her distracted, frustrated whirlwind of motion calmly. It had been almost 200 years since the Reaper War, but the human woman had aged gracefully thanks to the Cerberus cybernetic implants that had also lengthened her life beyond that of a normal human. The only glaring concession to age her body had made was the greying of her hair, which was now almost white. The other indicators were more subtle; the softening of her muscle tone and her curves, the slight deepening of the creases around the corners of her eyes and mouth. Despite the white hair, she looked to be of an age with a normal human woman of about forty-five or fifty.

"I'm a fighter, Liara!" Shepard raged, slamming another drawer shut. "I'm a goddamn warrior! I won't go out in some hospital bed while my body just falls apart! People coming to visit me, people I probably don't even know or like, looking at me all pityingly… it'd be fucking pathetic is what it would be!"

It was the growing frequency of the aching of old wounds which had become a concern. While the human was still active and healthy for the most part, and still a formidable warrior, there were times when these aches became so painful it forced Shepard nearly to the point of collapse. Several weeks prior they had been to see Miranda, who was herself in her twilight years. She had done some tests and told them she would inform them as soon as she had the results. Obviously, the conclusion Miranda had reached had been a dire one.

The time she had with Shepard had been more than Liara had ever dared hope to have when she was younger. Now it seemed that the time they had been graced with was drawing to an end; an inevitability that neither of them had wanted to face. Liara's heart ached but she kept her composure.

"What did Miranda say?" Liara asked quietly. Shepard ceased her packing, the duffel now overstuffed with random articles of clothing sticking out here and there, and sat down at the end of the bed with a sigh, scrubbing her hands over her face.

"My body is rejecting the implants," Shepard answered just as quietly from behind her hands.

"After all this time? Why?"

"Miranda had a big long scientific explanation, but what I got was 'Our physiology changes as we age' and 'What worked at age 30 might not work at 230,'" Shepard sighed, placing her hands in her lap and staring at them. "It's likely new implants would be rejected as well if we tried to replace them. But since they make up a good majority of my body, they can't very well be replaced without killing me anyway." Shepard laughed bitterly. The asari remained stoic.

"So, what was your plan then?" Liara asked a bit more coldly than she had intended, gesturing to the duffels on the bed. Shepard stood and turned to regard them, her face hardening again.

"I was going to find the worst group of criminal thugs in the dirtiest, shittiest hell hole I could find left in the galaxy and take a whole hell of a lot of them down with me," she said.

"Go down in a blaze of glory and all that?" the asari asked with an unintentional sneer.

"Yes," whispered Shepard, still staring at her bags, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Liara worked to carefully control the icy calm concealing her growing fury, but her hands dropped into balled fists at her sides.

_What about me?_ Liara wanted to ask.

"What about Enola?" she inquired instead.

"She's almost 150. She's all grown up, an adult, and she knew this would happen eventually. Besides, she's had longer with me than any other asari with a human parent would have," Shepard replied evenly. Whether or not Shepard had heard the subtext of Liara's question, her answer struck too close to home. While it was true, to Liara it seemed awfully callous, igniting her fury further.

"And yet you would have left her, planned your own demise, without a word of goodbye?!" Liara shouted, her mask cracking, her wrath beginning to enter her voice and gesturing angrily with her hands. The human woman stiffened and turned to face her wife, looking her in the eye for the first time since she had initially been discovered. She realized they were no longer talking about their daughter.

"I never said I wasn't going to say goodbye," Shepard said defensively, "only that I wanted to be gone before you got back. I left recordings," she said by way of explanation. "For you and for Enola, and a few for some of our friends…" Shepard trailed off at the furious glare from Liara.

"Your plan is extremely selfish, Shepard," Liara fumed.

"You're not the one who's dying, Liara!" Shepard spat, her anger and frustration returning in full force. Liara's anger, however, melted into sorrow at her bondmate's outburst, her body sagging under the weight of it, tears welling in her eyes.

"No," she whispered, "I am the one who has to go on living without you…"

Her ire forgotten, and never truly directed at the asari in the first place, Shepard rushed to her wife and folded her in her arms. Liara instinctively wrapped her arms around the human, clinging tightly to her, and buried her face in her neck, tears running silently down her cheeks, dampening Shepard's shirt.

"Li…" Shepard whispered, feeling her own sorrow, which she had been holding back with anger, weigh her down as well. Feeling tears welling in her own eyes she pulled them back to sit on the bed, Liara in her lap.

"Li, I…I was thinking of you…with this plan…I…" Shepard struggled to find the right words, to speak around the lump in her throat. "We've had more time than any other asari-human couple could be lucky enough to have. We got to watch our daughter grow up and become the remarkable maiden we always knew she would be. Our time together has been amazing. And that's…that's what I wanted you to remember…how I wanted you to remember me. Not wasted away, barely aware of where I am before my body finally gives out." Shepard swallowed the emotions constricting her throat and forced herself to finish. "I didn't want that to be your last memory of me."

Liara nodded into Shepard's neck and spoke through her tears. "I understand, Shepard, I do. But, can you understand that to have no opportunity to say goodbye, to see you one last time…I would have regretted that for the rest of my life. Can you understand that?"

Shepard sighed and kissed the top of the asari's crest. "Yes. I'm sorry. I was being selfish," she murmured into the top of her bondmate's head. A tear finally broke loose from her lashes, landing with a small splash on the asari's crest before disappearing into the folds there.

They sat there for a long while simply savoring the comfortable sensation of being in each other's arms. Eventually Shepard felt the familiar brush of the asari's consciousness against her own and immediately opened up as Liara initiated a shallow meld. A wash of muddled feelings flooded the bond; sorrow, anger, love, confusion, fear.

_I do not know if I can go on without you._

Shepard poured all the love she had into the meld, trying to drown out all the negative feelings. She held Liara tightly to her, as if trying to make the meld physical as well as mental, reassuring the asari that she was still there.

_You're strong, Li. So strong…so much stronger than me, no matter what anyone else might think. _She pulled back and lifted the asari's chin to look her in the eyes._ And no matter what happens you are never without me. We are bonded, we are one. We will always be together here, _she brushed her fingertips across Liara's temple, _and here_, she laid her hand over Liara's heart. Liara laid her own hand over Shepard's, her other slipped behind the woman's neck and pulled her in for a kiss.

* * *

AN: So, I started this several months ago but then the incomparable Melaradark released Dark Energy 4. (If you haven't read the Dark Energy series go right now and read it...what are you still doing here!? Go!) The premise was so similar though more beautifully done that I decided to put this on hold. But DE4 has been finished for a while now and so I've come back to this one. I hope I've put enough of a different spin on it to make it worth reading.

Don't worry that I'm leaving off here. I'm not finished though I am having trouble deciding how I want to continue. I posted what I have completed mostly in an effort to force myself to finish this story before I move on to another. I can't make myself accountable to...myself, so I will make myself accountable to you, dear readers. I promise to have another chapter written by next week with maybe, possibly another chapter after that.

If anyone has any comments or criticisms they are always welcome. I'd also like to hear how you the readers would like to see this play out. Like I said, I'm struggling with how to proceed, so your input is appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN #1: **First things first. Thank you all for the truly overwhelming response I received to the first chapter. To those that read, followed and favorited, thank you so much. To those of you that reviewed, thank you so much for taking the time, I'm truly humbled and I'm sorry I didn't have time to respond to each of you individually. It's been a hectic week and if you want all my excuses they'll be in AN #2 at the bottom. Suffice it to say that each review, follow, and favorite that made its way into my email inbox brightened my day and brought me warm fuzzies. Thank you! And so, with only a little further ado, on with the show!_

* * *

'**Cause you're a hard soul to save  
****With an ocean in the way,  
****But I'll get around it.  
****Now there's green light in my eyes  
****And my lover on my mind  
****And I'll sing from the piano  
****Tear my yellow dress and  
****Cry and cry and cry…  
****Over the love of you****  
**

"**Over the Love" – Florence + the Machine**

* * *

The kiss was desperate and hungry; both trying to reassure the other that Shepard wasn't dead just yet. It was reminiscent of the kisses they had shared during the war, when time had been fleeting and both had just been happy to be alive for another day. It was a feeling both were reveling in through the bond. So it came as a shock to Liara when Shepard pulled away from both the kiss and the meld suddenly with a gasp, her hand going to her head.

"Shepard?" Liara asked, voice full of concern. Cupping the human's face in her hands she pulled it up to look Shepard in the eyes. They were glossy and unfocused and seemed to be jumping from place to place, unable to settle on any one thing.

"Li…Li, I…think something…som-something's wrong," Shepard muttered as she lay back on the bed, her eyes still skipping all over the room. Liara quickly lifted the woman's legs up, shifting Shepard's position so that she was lying fully on the bed. The asari quickly followed after, settling in the center of the bed next to her bondmate, looking down at her with eyes full of concern.

"L-L-Liara? I'm…scared…What's going on-n-n? I can't s-see…"

"I don't know, love, I don't know, but I'm here, I'm right here," Liara whispered as she stroked Shepard's face with one hand, trying to look into the woman's eyes as they flitted toward her and away faster than she could blink. Her whispers dissolved into murmured, not-quite-comforting nothings; Liara wasn't sure who she was trying to reassure more, herself or Shepard.

Eventually, Shepard's eyes stopped their dancing and rolled back into her head. At the same time, every muscle in her body seemed to tense at once, like a cord had been tied to her head and her feet and had been pulled taught, or as though she strained to pull some imaginary heavy load under her own strength, or maybe as if she were being electrocuted. Still somewhat in shock, Liara shot up and scooted back to observe Shepard from her knees in the middle of the bed, hands over her mouth. When the woman's muscles began to jerk in unison Liara finally gave in to her panic.

"Pick up, pick up, goddess, please pick up," she muttered to herself after tapping a series of codes into her omni-tool. After several chirps a voice, gravelly and older but still recognizable, could be heard on the other end.

"Hello, Liara, I really should have expect—"

"Miranda! I think Shepard is having a seizure!" Liara all but shouted, overriding whatever the woman had been about to say. Miranda swore softly under her breath.

"It's progressing faster than I had anticip—"

"What do I do?!" the asari yelled, cutting her off again.

"Stay calm, Liara. Here's what you're going to do. Is she in an open area?" Miranda's voice over the omni-tool was as calm and no-nonsense has it had ever been and it served to anchor Liara, to bring her a measure of peace. For all her centuries, the asari still managed to be flustered from time to time; usually Shepard's doing.

"Yes, she's on our bed," Liara responded after taking a deep breath to help center herself further. Really, she should be more composed than this. She was a matron and a mother now and she had seen far worse when the Reapers had hit Thessia, when she and Shepard had revisited Earth. _Yes, but none of those unfortunate souls had been my bondmate! None of them were Shepard!_ But then again…_You've seen her DEAD for goddess's sake_, she argued with herself. _Get ahold of yourself!_

"Excellent. Now, you need to roll her onto her side, preferably her left side, but either works." Miranda's unruffled voice brought Liara back into focus. Carefully, she shifted Shepard's shuddering body onto her side in the center of the bed. As she did so, Liara noticed blood dribble out of the woman's mouth.

"She's biting her tongue!" Liara said, sounding more panicked to her ears than she felt. _Am I in shock? Yes, I must be._

"Better she bite it than swallow it," came Miranda's response. "Don't put anything in her mouth to try to prevent it, either; the choking risk is too great. There is not much you can do now but wait it out. Hold her, keep her on her side, but don't try to restrain her."

Lying down behind her love, Liara draped an arm loosely over her waist and cradled her shaking head with her other arm as the woman continued to spasm. Was it just yesterday, was it just hours ago, _minutes ago!_, that Shepard had seemed completely healthy? Yes, she was becoming weaker, but that was to be expected at her advanced age. Now the true extent of Shepard's human frailty could be felt, quaking under her very fingers. Shepard's confident smile seemed a lifetime ago already. Overcome with emotion, the asari rested her forehead against the human's shuddering back and began to silently weep.

After several minutes Shepard's muscles finally went lax and Liara breathed a trembling sigh of relief. Miranda's voice over the omni-tool startled Liara, who had forgotten she was still connected to the woman.

"Is it finished?"

"Yes. Yes, I think so."

"Good. It was short. The degeneration is only just beginning. She has some time yet," said Miranda.

_Short?_ Liara thought, _It felt like an eternity…_

"They will get progressively worse," the woman added grimly, as though reading Liara's thoughts, "They will get longer and more violent. It will take her longer to recover." A pause.

"Liara, you…" Miranda continued, sounding hesitant and very unlike herself, "Liara, I wasn't expecting it to progress this quickly. You…you may want to consider…"

"Consider what, Miranda?" Liara asked, even though she knew what the woman was trying to say she needed to hear it from another; confirmation of the grim reality that was setting in.

"Consider gathering her friends and family, those that are left at any rate…to say goodbye. And…make arrangements. " Liara didn't miss the note of sadness in the human's usually carefully controlled voice.

"I would, but she…does not seem to want that…" Liara almost thought she could hear a nod from the other woman before she responded in her normal clipped, clinical tone.

"That sounds like her. In all honesty, she may not be in a position to protest in just a few short weeks if this episode is any indicator of the progression of deterioration. Do whatever you think is best, Liara. In any case, she should be waking up shortly. She'll be confused and disoriented. She probably won't even recognize you. Try to keep her in bed, convince her to sleep. She'll be tired and sore but you and I both know Shepard is a fighter; she may not go meekly to sleep simply because you suggest it, especially if she's confused and doesn't know you. She shouldn't have another episode for several days but if she does you need to call emergency services. I'm sending you a prescription for an anti-epileptic medication as well as all of the information I sent to Shepard earlier." Miranda took a deep breath before continuing. "Whatever you and Shepard decide to do about…the future…you'll let me know, won't you?"

"Yes, of course, Miranda," Liara replied, feeling a measure of her composure return. "And thank you. For everything."

"It's no problem. Keep me posted on her condition," and with that Miranda was gone.

Liara flopped back with a sigh. The time they both had spent avoiding this subject was now coming back to bite them. They could not even agree on how to proceed, much less have a plan in place as they should have. Would she honor Shepard's wishes and let her go out in a manner of her own choosing? Or would she rather see her bondmate's life drawn out, to keep her with her as long as possible? Which would be the most bearable in the centuries to come? Liara sighed again.

_It does not really matter at this moment. Right now I just have to be strong; for Shepard, for Enola, and for myself._

A groan from Shepard as she stirred brought Liara out of her thoughts. She rolled the woman onto her back, dabbing at the blood in the corner of her mouth with a sleeve. She tucked a strand of hair behind an ear as the human's eyes finally opened.

"Hi," the asari said, looking down at Shepard with love and concern in her blue eyes and a small, sad smile playing on her lips. The eyes looking back, however, were foggy and held no recognition.

"I…I don't know…" Shepard started, the confusion and exhaustion written plainly on her face.

"Shhh, everything is alright," Liara soothed, stroking the woman's hair, feeling far from alright herself but trying to exude confidence. "I know you are confused right now, but you need rest, okay?"

"Okay," was Shepard's slurred response, to Liara's great surprise. From what Miranda had said she had expected questions. _'Who are you? Where am I? What's going on?'_ She had expected anger and resistance, not acceptance. The asari leaned down and placed a kiss on Shepard's forehead, trying to summon a smile once again.

"Close your eyes. Sleep," Liara said, "You will feel better when you wake. I promise." Shepard nodded and closed her eyes. Liara continued to stroke her hair until her breathing changed and she was sure the human was asleep.

Sliding off the bed, the asari padded across the floor and took one more look at her bondmate before closing the door quietly behind her. Tapping at her omni-tool she began churning over plans in her head. She had decided how she was going to proceed and there were preparations to be made.

_But first, there are a few people I need to call._

* * *

**_AN #2:_**_ Phew, there it is. I promised you another chapter this week and I made it! (Barely!) I hardly had time to write since publishing the first chapter. Tue. Wed. and Thurs of last week were taken up with company in town whom I only get to see once or twice a year. Friday I drove 700 miles to surprise my mom for Mother's Day and then drove back on Sunday. Monday was just pure procrastination. Tuesday I had an epileptic episode of my own which, while it left me completely worn out, did give me the inspiration for this chapter since I was completely at a loss as to where I was going with this story._

_I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with this chapter. I didn't have time to nitpick word choice and phrasing like I normally do, and without a beta I could do that for weeks~. But a promise is a promise and I hope the story is progressing favorably, dear readers. I have a clearer idea of where this is going and there will be at least one more chapter, possibly two, but probably just one. I'm not going to promise another chapter next week, but I will promise that I'm working on it and I will not keep you in suspense for too terribly long!_**  
**

_Once again, thank you all for taking the time to read and review! Every notification in my email and even every little tick on the traffic graph sets my lil heart aflutter! ^_^_


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